Be Present.

Happy new year! The year started out quite busy for me. It’s crazy to think a year has passed by so quickly (well for me anyway) and now we have begun a new year and a new decade. So far I haven’t made the mistake of writing 2019 down lol.

When I think about the last year and decade I can honestly say that a lot has changed in my life. Ten years ago I would never have pictured myself to be who and where I am now…to be honest even a year ago I wouldn’t have pictured myself having some of the experiences I’ve had. One thing for certain is that I’m thankful to still be alive, to have experienced all that I have in the past year and ten years… The stressful, the exciting, the life altering… All of it!

Each moment had/has it’s purpose and I’m grateful that God has extended his mercies and his grace towards me. I rest in his word…

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 The Holy Bible- KJV

Every year we set certain goals or resolutions that we would like to accomplish or work on throughout the year. I think this is great because having a plan and setting goals are important.

As we have not only entered into a new year, but also a new decade one of my goals for the year and decade is to be present.

  • To be present with my family
  • To be present for my achievements
  • To be present for what God is doing in my life and those around me

One of the biggest distractions that keep us from being present is social media.

Ten years ago I was just about eighteen. I remember when Facebook, MySpace, MSN and Youtube would run my life. Not only did I spend way too much time on these social media websites but I also allowed social media to dictate to me my worth and importance. I allowed social media to distract me from being present with my loved ones and connecting with my real friends (because honestly all 300 or more of those “friends” and followers aren’t your real friends). There were many moments I was physically there for but I wasn’t present.

I don’t even have to go back as far as ten years. There are moments currently where I struggle to be present because I allow so many other things get in the way of what and who really matters. I’m sure we all can say this is something we could improve on.

We put social media on such a pedestal sometimes. We would rather spend so much time editing, posting and peering into the lives of others that we neglect to stop and reflect on our own. Sometimes we even spend so much time watching the lives of others because we find their life much more appealing than our own. Does anyone else find that troubling? Comparison is a horrible thing. We don’t have to look that far to find something that is unique, interesting, beautiful, handsome, intelligent, accomplished, complex etc. And that something and someone is you & everything/everyone that your life consists of.

A few of my friends and family have lost loved ones this past year and I’m burdened for them. This is what reminds me of the importance of cherishing each moment with those you love and hold dear to your heart. Simply giving someone a call or text when they come to your mind means a lot and says a lot… Why not even make the effort to visit them if it’s possible?

I must add… try not to become bitter when it seems like you are the one who is always extending yourself. Continue to be the present, kind, open hearted, social, mindful person that you are don’t let bitterness rob you of that.

Be present with and for the people you love & care about. 

How many social functions and events are our heads buried into our devices? We think posting a Facebook post, Insta story, snap & whatever else is is out there is being present… but I don’t believe that it is.

I’m not bashing social media…Social media has its benefits and no doubt it helps families and friends who are long distances away from each other connect with each other.

Personally, I want to look my husband, my son, my family, my friends In the eyes and tell them what and how much they mean to me- on their birthday, anniversary, graduation, and every day. I don’t want to give a birthday shout out to my parents who aren’t even on social media and would never see my appreciation. I want to tell them personally.. How is it that we would rather type up a post on Facebook for everyone to see us affirm our love for our loved one than actually looking that person in the eyes & telling them how we feel? (If its possible)

This year I’m not accepting “if it’s not posted, it didn’t happen”.

Again, I’m not bashing social media, I’m just stressing the importance of appreciating a raw, real moment for what it is… No filter.

I want to be present when I, my family or friends achieve small or big wins.

Did you know that you could miss out on your achievements? Like when you started that blog, podcast, business, course, etc. And no one hit like or commented on your stuff so you stopped or belittled your efforts. The fact that you mustered up the confidence to start something like that, don’t stop doing what your doing because you’re not getting the traffic you expect on your site, post, etc. –don’t quit, learn & grow.

Did you know that you can miss out on what God is doing or wants to do in your life because you are so focused on your mistakes, your past, your grind & hustle, comparison and other things?

If being present means less screen time & more personal interaction and reflection then I’m going to try to do that because frankly, if “it’s” not posted then it’s currently happening. ✌🏾

Signing off,

Tiyana ❤

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